Mark Ardron, 35, Vereinigtes KönigreichZuletzt gesehen: Februar 2011

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Über mich

Hi I'm mark

my life story so far...

well i was born at a whopping 2 and 3/4 grams, but i was almost 2 foot tall, i looked like a pipe cleaner

at the age of 2 i met my friend tony

he is the little man that lives in my head, he is my brain...say hello tony..."hello"

i pretty much have to do as he says

he once made me paint the telly but my mum didn't believe me when i said tony made me do it..."thanks Tony"

at the age of 5 i took an interest in carrots, ever since then i have been collecting them.

i now have over 5 carrots

then as i got older i started to think about girls

i wondered why they didn't like it when i dribbled on them.

by that stage i found that shouting and poking them was getting me nowhere,

so i though my only option would be to steal one.

this is what i did and to this day she has lived in the attic

i feed her on turnip, but it has started to make her smell a bit.

i have called her 'girl'

at the age of 13 i started building my spaceship, i have travelled all over the garden in it. it is amazing but i think i have broken the weewah valve as it now goes wahwee and just goes round in circles.

I then grew up and

After a period as a billionnaire diamond hustler i became a world famous porn star due to the fact i'm hung like an arctic squirrel. i left to move to Southend. i now own a hamster farm. you don't need a lot of land, just a very small dog to round them up in shearing season. I'm very thpecial and sometimes wake up thinking i'm a prawn! I also have an irrational fear of pencil sharpeners!