Day Two: Isolation


14. Dez. 2010, 2:31

Ayreon - Day Two: Isolation (Lyrics)
"You've been deserted, everyone has left you
You know it's always been that way"

Me miraculously awakens, but he is disoriented and in an unknown, empty space. As he ponders what has happened to him, Fear is the first to reach out and make contact with Me. Fear confirms Me's current worry: he is alone. Not only is Me alone when he needs help the most, he is alone and it's all his fault. His actions in his past have driven people away and Me is left alone in isolation.

The solitary, eerie music is suddenly replaced with a more aggressive, very forceful tone as Me continues to ask questions, trying to understand what has happened. Reason reaches out to him next, more reassuring and offering to guide Me through this predicament. Passion suddenly appears, urging Me to look deep inside himself and recall a feeling that he's been trying to ignore. Pride makes himself known as well. He is disappointed Me appears to be taking the easy way out and passing on the opportunity to "make them pay." Through his words, we start to see Me is quite complicated, appearing to be a vengeful, cold, bitter man. But Reason returns and starts to help Me understand where he is. He's stuck in his mind, and everything around him is as real as he makes it.

After another round of taunting by Passion and Pride, the aggression subsides and a gentle melody and flute take over. Love, the "strongest of them all," appears and manages to calm Me down. She defies Fear's previous words, letting Me know that he is never alone, and she is always there for him, even when the others become overwhelming. When she fades away, Me is finally given a chance to breath and reflect on his position. It's brief though as Passion and Pride can't be held back for long. They return, talking down to Me once more, eventually leading him, to a Day of Pain.

Everyone has had their moments where they feel isolated. For me, that feeling tends to come more often than most people. Ever since around middle school, I've tended to be more introverted and constructed walls to keep people from getting too close to me. Over the years though, I've slowly chipped away at those walls and I'm nowhere nearly as bad as I was in middle school. I am surrounded by great friends and family, and have no problem being out in the world and social. That being said, I really don't mind spending time alone or being out doing things where I don't have to depend on other people. I've found that behind these walls is really a double edged sword. I know it protects me mentally because I don't deal with loss well at all. I tend to use the wall to help keep people at arm's length. Close enough to have a 'normal' (whatever you make that word out to mean) friendship, but far enough to keep from feeling too much when I'm inevitably abandoned one way or another. For the most part, it's worked. Only a few have been able to penetrate my defenses (I suppose there have to always be exceptions to the rule) and I generally don't feel bad feelings. Unfortunately, I've grown to depend on the comfort and convenience of that wall. It can make me feel like I'm missing out or I can't connect 100% to people, always stuck at 99.999999%. It's like a glass prison containing me, I can see outside so clearly but when I start moving towards it, I'll run into that wall. Trying to crash through it is dangerous, it will send shards flying down. Instead, I have to slowly work my way around them, dismantling it piece by piece. Over time I feel I've been getting better, and this year I've been pushed to really make an effort. I've always known in the back of my head that I can't stay behind here forever, otherwise, I will end up truly isolated.

Previous Posts:
Day One: Vigil
The Human Equation: A 20 Day Experiment


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