Donnerstag, 21. Jun 2012, 23:03

My head was aswim (yeah I made that up) with thoughts, worries, fears, as My brother in law and sister drove me to my new home. I missed my friends and family, my job, but above all that, I was still trying to make sense of the drunken evening before. This friend who I had joked with for two years about kissing and hooking up with had finally broken the barrier and what followed was pleasant beyond anything I expected. That's why it stood in my mind, because it wasn't a heated passion, it was a calm happiness. a great heart rate.
here it is:

I am trying to clear my mind after Saturday night but I simply have not been able. Here's the story:

Thursday night was host to my going away party at Crabby Joe's. A lot of staff was there to drink a massive amount of alcohol and it made me feel good to know that most of the store was drunk the next morning because they had such a great time the night before.
I had retrieved my cell and wallet from the bar and Sobeys and messaged my friends. Shannon informed me that I had done some public displays with Nicole who, when confronted, said "I don't care. I love her." (That made me feel good, too. that is her quote according to … tash? Tam? either way, I'd bring the moon down for Nicole.)

Shannon asked me if I remember her kissing me on the lips and I could hardly believe it. I denied any memory and jokingly accused her of lying. She was fairly adamant that it happened, although there were no witnesses. I asked for a do over and she said "well we can do it all again tomorrow night. One Last Hoorah" So I agreed and it was set that , as planned, I would be attending the beeton car draw.
Saturday afternoon Shannon tells me she is picking me up at 8:30 and she has to collect Jay and we'll be on our way. I'm relaxed because I had two strong rum punch cocktails in a short, short span. After stopping for a red bull, we get to Beeton and decide to go to The Muddy because the arena is still full of children.
Two Pitchers later, a nice conversation, and letting shannon see my fully nude pic, we're on our way back to the draw.
Time flies, we drink and dance and drink some more. At some point in the night , likely when Shannon and I were in the bathroom, she mentions (or I did) the goodbye kiss she gave me and I think I asked her to show me again. She kisses me, and my body floods with heat. But it wasn't a sexual urge. it was just, like adding some bars to my "life" meter in a video game. It felt good, natural and comfortable, which stood out in my mind. It did centre my interest though and through more drinks and dancing, a few things further developed.
First was my hands on her, which went from being kept to myself, to permanently around her shoulders, waist, or centred on the small of her back. I apologized twice I believe, saying "I'm just so comfortable, and I keep forgetting the sexual connotation it gives us, because I know how it will make you look, and you have to live here still." She would say "Shut up, don't, I like it. and who cares? I want you to."
You can imagine how that made my drunken head swell. Soon I was kissing her hair and pulling her closer, kissing her cheeks and neck and shoulders. I remember at one point when we were holding hands and going through the crowd, I had a huge smirk on my face because it had been noticed and already gossiped that her and I were inappropriately close for two girl friends,
Pompous and drunk, completely elated that I was permitted to be displayed with her, I would occasionally kiss her lips. She was comfortable because she's wild like that and truly, sincerely does not give a fuck what other people say about her. I began to kiss her more and more until it was natural to pull her in for a kiss which she gladly returned. I think she felt like she could trust me and that I wouldn't try to go too far with her. There were instances between us where we compared "close shaves" on our vaginas and she would bare her breasts to adjust her top, but I never jumped and it was respectfully playful. It was unexpected, but so dearly desired.
WHen her cop friend drove us three home in the cruiser, Jay's attitude sort of changed and went south. We had gone to his house and sat in his kitchen while he prepared a southwest salad that was absolutely killer. Shannon and I ate the salad and I was still hands on with her to some degree. Jay BBQ's something I think, or was outside for a few minutes and Shannon and I just talked and kissed. I rememeber Jay saying he was going to bed and that Shannon wanted me to get a cab. I felt like I should be leaving so that they could have some neighbour time, but I think Shannon said no to that and after Jay called me a cab, they were annoyed at each other a bit and she left with me. We sat at the end of his driveway together while he went to bed, and here my favorite memory of the night was created.
We were talking saying we were going to miss each other and she can't wait to come and see me. I might even have gotten upset. But at this one moment, she lifted her head which was leaning on my shoulder, and looked at me in the eye. She pouted her lips asking for a kiss, like the hundred times I'd seen her do to Wayne. But she was asking me. Shannon pouted and instinctively I leaned in and kissed her on the lips, and it wasn't fireworks in a "Let's fuck" way, but it was incredible. Incredible for what it represented, a trust, intimacy and closeness. Even an attraction. She wanted my desire and she had it. She wanted a touch of attention and she got it. I wanted her to want me and she did.
I was beyond elated that we didn't need to fuck or make a mistake like that just because I was leaving, and that all this time she was capable of being intimate without being scandalous.