Folks,you may think I'm being more cynical than I really should be.
But I really, really, don't care.
I'm not a big fan of holidays such as Halloween or Easter.
So naturally, I wouldn't be a fan of Thanksgiving or Turkey Day or whatever witty-ass name you can think of.
Togetherness? Don't we already do that? Not with a majority of our family, but then again, we're spread out for a reason.
Those reasons consist of family members being pricks, being too damn annoying in general, and just being too fucking far to be with in the first way. Move closer, goddammit! I can't afford plane tickets everytime some piece-of ass holiday comes up.
Food. Lots and lots of food. It's the one day where you can eat until you actually pass out and not be called a fat-ass. The one day where you can have every single member involved with the red meat family on your table and not be called a fat-ass. You see where I'm going with this?
We're Americans, goddammit(people reading this who aren't from America aren't included in this). Don't we already have enough fat-asses running around our country as it is? Let's try and cut back.
My final reason, and the most important one, is that we killed the Native Americans right after the dinner. Of course we fattened them up with food, so when we got ready to kick some ass, it'd be a cakewalk.
We gave them a big,nice,wholesome dinner to symbolize togetherness.
And what happened after that?
We enslaved and killed them off. That's it. We came. We ate. We went Rambo on the fuckers.
Happy fuckin' Thanksgiving indeed.