25. Okt. 2007, 19:57
I've waited for the new Kylie Minogue sound happening long enough. it's been a long long time since 'Body Language' (although to give her credit, it hasn't been as long as since we last heard anything from Portishead... which i now hear the new record is in final stages of production as you may be reading this.. about fuckin time.) anyways, Kylie's been through a lot - the big C, and the exit of scrumptious squeeze Oliver Martinez, not to mention constant (though futile, ha) Princess of Pop title takeover efforts by sister notorious, Dannii. so imagine my excitement over stumbling upon a new video for the new single off upcoming new album! i was on youtube faster than i was down on my boss after half a bottle of smirnoff, to check out my new favorite song of all time. now imagine my shock, cry and embarrassment after having completed streaming "2 hearts" only to discover Kylie has clearly gone insane from the chemo and has since been walking around thinking she is Allison Goldfrapp herself. the song (while totally awesome, had it been recorded by the injured party itself) is a shameless, sad and just plain gross rip off of everything i hold Goldfrapp, the British electro/glam/dance/trance/shazzaam wonderduo, in alcohol high regards of maintaining musically. now, Kylie has never been an innovator in any way, by all means. just like Madonna she has always embraced outside proven music trends, oversexualized and squeezed them through tintilating album artwork for gay men all over the world to grind against each other in sweaty dance clubs to. but "2 hearts" is not merely a reinterpretation of Goldfrapp's glossy glam diva attitude. from the beat, through arrangements, to the video itself, which has Kylie looking, posing, and dancing like Allison, the whole song is a new low in copycatting lows. i mean, for fuck's sake, the chorus' main vocal riff has Kylie exclamating "i'm in love! i'm in love!" i mean, shit, "Strict machine," anyone?? and i thought Product.01 was full of crap when they dared to have a woman sing seductively over heavily synthesized beats on "Hot trap." i haven't heard the whole new Kylie album yet obviously, but if this travesty shows on other tracks, that's it, i'm putting the drama on - i'm not listening to Kylie ever again! no matter how much she's been through or how many multiple orgasms on dancefloors she's given me with remixes of "Love at first sight"!