HellionVulcan

Billy, 103, Männlich, AustralienZuletzt gesehen: April 2014

51093 gespielte Titel seit 10. Okt. 2009

1.726 Lieblingslieder | 0 Beiträge | 0 Playlisten | 75 Shouts

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Kürzlich angehörte Titel

Martin O'Donnell & Michael SalvatoriReclaimer 8. Jun. 2012
Martin O'Donnell & Michael SalvatoriSacred Icon Suite. 1. Cortege/2. Opening ... 8. Jun. 2012
Martin O'Donnell & Michael SalvatoriDelta Halo Suite. 1. Penance/2. Wage/3. ... 8. Jun. 2012
Martin O'Donnell & Michael SalvatoriUnforgotten 8. Jun. 2012
Martin O'Donnell & Michael SalvatoriMausoleum Suite. 1. Destroyer's Invocation 8. Jun. 2012
Martin O'Donnell & Michael SalvatoriUnyielding 8. Jun. 2012
Martin O'Donnell & Michael SalvatoriMombasa Suite. 1. Metropole/2. Broken Gates/3. 8. Jun. 2012
Martin O'Donnell & Michael SalvatoriCairo Suite. 1. Cold Blue Light/2. Waking ... 8. Jun. 2012
Martin O'Donnell & Michael SalvatoriPrologue. 1. Rising/2. Cloistered Expectancy 8. Jun. 2012
Martin O'Donnell & Michael SalvatoriMombasa Suite. 1. Metropole/2. Broken Gates/3. 6. Jun. 2012
Martin O'Donnell & Michael SalvatoriCairo Suite. 1. Cold Blue Light/2. Waking ... 6. Jun. 2012
Martin O'Donnell & Michael SalvatoriPrologue. 1. Rising/2. Cloistered Expectancy 6. Jun. 2012
Deus Ex Invisible WarCairo Mosque Lieblingslied 6. Jun. 2012
Deus Ex Invisible Warseattle lower seattle herons loft Lieblingslied 6. Jun. 2012
Deus Ex Invisible WarSeattle Mako Ballistics Interior Lieblingslied 6. Jun. 2012
Deus Ex Invisible Warseattle city hub emerald suites Lieblingslied 6. Jun. 2012
Deus Ex Invisible WarSeattle Tarsus Apartments Lieblingslied 6. Jun. 2012
Deus Ex Invisible WarInvisible War Title Theme Lieblingslied 6. Jun. 2012
College HumorGotta buy'em all Lieblingslied 6. Jun. 2012
College HumorGotta buy'em all Lieblingslied 6. Jun. 2012
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Shoutbox

  • PseudoEsteem

    I know, I'm just frustrated when I feel my meaning isn't getting through. As for doing something, well I am. I'm seeing a counselor, I'm going to school, I'm trying to live life. The reason why I said I wanted meds is because I don't want my condition to derail my current progress. I know they won't hell me, they are nothing more than a band aid. But if I am consumed and fail out of school then that'll just feedback into my misery. I want to finish and get good grades. I want to succeed. To prove to myself that I still have the capacity to move on; that I'm not actually weak. Right now, to me, stopping school would be a failure and a sign of weakness.

    19. Apr. 2012 Antworten
  • PseudoEsteem

    That's why I'm trying to say, I TRY all the time. I can't describe to you how hard, how incredibly hard it is to just try. I tell myself every fucking day "think positive." I have it no my phone so that when I open it, first shit I see is the words "think positive." I don't want to be like this, I'm honestly not trying to be liking this. This shit takes over me and fucking paralyzes me. If it was so easy to deal with, I wouldn't be suffering from it after all these years. I've had these issues in one way or another for the past 7 years. 7 fucking years I've been dealing with this bullshit. When someone tells me, "it's okay, I been through that and got over it." it makes me feel like fucking shit. If that's so true, then why am I not "over it?" Am I really that fucking weak?

    19. Apr. 2012 Antworten
  • PseudoEsteem

    I think it has to do with that and with the fact that I was getting sick at the same time. Not just sick, but I nearly died on about 4 different occasions in the span of a year. 2 years ago I didn't even think I had long to live anymore. That shit triggered my fall into despair. I expected to die, I was ready to just let it happen too. I had given up. Not to mention all the other family drama and isolation I felt.

    19. Apr. 2012 Antworten
  • PseudoEsteem

    I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder.

    19. Apr. 2012 Antworten
  • PseudoEsteem

    ....I won't rule that out, I do think I'm somewhat self destructive, but I don't think you're getting me either. .__.

    19. Apr. 2012 Antworten
  • PseudoEsteem

    You're already assuming I'm an addict! D:

    19. Apr. 2012 Antworten
  • PseudoEsteem

    "Getting away and finding myself" are rather difficult things to do. Maybe after this semester ends I'll do something like that, but I can't do that forever.

    17. Apr. 2012 Antworten
  • PseudoEsteem

    I honestly have no idea, but they're hampering my functionality. Even if it's only for the short term, I prefer to use them then introspection. I already dropped one class because I was failing and feeling overwhelmed. There's a lot of shit going on with me, no doubt, but I can't really deal with it right now. I need to focus on school.

    17. Apr. 2012 Antworten
  • PseudoEsteem

    I'm just gonna ask for meds. Honestly, the mood swings are incredibly disruptive.

    17. Apr. 2012 Antworten
  • PseudoEsteem

    I don't like the mood swings, but danke.

    17. Apr. 2012 Antworten
  • PseudoEsteem

    I'm not being random, I just am random. Not like I want to be this way! D:

    17. Apr. 2012 Antworten
  • PseudoEsteem

    I dunno

    16. Apr. 2012 Antworten
  • Baz0Man

    http://www.last.fm/subscribe $4.5 AUD per month. You can pay for 1 month or 3 months.

    5. Jan. 2012 Antworten
  • Baz0Man

    That's because I pay and am a subscriber :P Get to see who is looking at my profile, and I get to use Last.Fm on iPhones/iPods and other mobile devices.

    5. Jan. 2012 Antworten
  • Baz0Man

    How dare thee look upon my profile of Fm's of Last.

    5. Jan. 2012 Antworten
  • breedoh

    ha ya i finally got a little unlazy and downloaded 2000 songs. i want so much more but my ipod wont hold it all :/ ill probably just download some more anyway and put it on a few flash drives or something ha

    21. Okt. 2011 Antworten
  • breedoh

    ha ya same. i keep on reminding myself to download music [i had like 5,000+ songs on my last ipod but my ex ran over it with his car bc one of my old GUY best friends gave it to me...] and i lost my whole library so now i have a lot of catching up to do. i only remember do download music when im drunk but by the time i get started, i usually end up finding something else to distract me ha

    20. Okt. 2011 Antworten
  • breedoh

    haha you know what i just noticed? our music compatability is SUPER lol

    19. Okt. 2011 Antworten
  • breedoh

    ya well no place allows it here besides tattoo shops and i dont have enough street cred for that ha

    18. Okt. 2011 Antworten
  • breedoh

    ew... no snakebites... haha i want my labret done really bad :|

    17. Okt. 2011 Antworten
  • Alle 75 Shouts

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