Why viking fetishists and all other types of fetishists merely wish to get laid


26. Jul. 2010, 20:42

It's no secret that we live in a hypocrithical world, a charachteristic which is as old as humanity itself and will never perish, albeit historically it had different degrees throughout the world. This is rather visible amongst all types of fetishists – religious, cultural or otherwise.

These fetishists (which go by the name of “fans” when we talk about subcultures or by most pseudo-extremists when we talk about religious fanatics or most political extremists or 99.99% of vegans and straight edgers, “ecologists” who wish that all the world would merely buy bourgeois “green” products and all the other subgroups of hipsters). These people cloak behind a trend, religion, etc. in order to disguise their sexuality in “higher ideals”. Don't believe me? Well, stay tuned.

I'll first start with subculture fetishists, and the one which I personally find to be the most annoying – at lest in my area: viking fetishists (which merged with paganism/asatru/odinism and God knows what type of crap) – so we could also call it pseudo-religious one, albeit it's merely a trend. These people have no connection whatsoever with viking/scandinavians to start with. They find idealistic portraits of vikings or pagans with long hair to be empowering and/or sexually appealing (albeit most Scandinavians are about as viirle and warlike as seaweed, considering the weather, rather peaceful history of the last two centuries and booze) – and join the trendwagon of shitty “folk – beyond polished cheesy black metal – disco” mixture music known as “pagan metal” or “viking metal” and turning it into some supreme icon or lifestyle. The music is puerile, stupid and downright lifeless to start with – the lyrics are downright stupid, they're sing-along, let's drink, let's admire “our” ancestors and their pagan religion from what RPG's/comic books/LaVey/Wicca etc. teaches us. Are you that ashamed of your own roots that you have to worship vikings or something foreign? I can't say I'm particularly surprised at Russians for example (varangians – vikings ruled them, just like a Slavic aristocracy which imposed their language on the native Fino-Ugric-Uralic hodge-podge) – which explains easily the “Russian soul” and its predisposition towards licking the boots of the next despotic tyrant, a thing in which even Dr. Eduard Limonov agrees! But why are you others doing alike?

Which brings me to the point – you aren't pagan, you merely discovered asatru/paganism/wiccanism/satanism (let's face it, 99% of pagans have a satanist obsession or at least had one)/etc. from music which most of you download out of DC++ channels or rancidly .GIF infested blogspots. You are not “yourself” in nature (this is also applied to hipster ecologists), 99.8% of you are merely citadine with no experience in village life or nature whatsoever. 99.8% of you would die if you would spend one night in a forest. You like going into pubs to get drunk beyond recognition.
You spend your time in annoying and stupid social networking and with your moronic blogs like every other human which has an internet connection nowdays, with stupid .GIF and “Thanks for the add” images featuring your object of fetish – vikings, mjollnirs, thors, pentagrams, celtic crosses, etc. Your ancestors for at least 8 generations were probably practicing at best a syncretic form of christianity mixed with pagan traditions at best. Your ancestors haven't been worshipping Thor, Gebeleizis, Odin, Svetovoid, Perun for at least half a millenium – but their form of religion is surely closer to traditionalism than your insipid pseudo-revival. It's all pointless anyway – if you live in Russia for example, where 75% of your population is urban, “rural pagan revival” is outright hillarious. Your population is shrinking by 1 million each year, and the 450.000 births which replenish it are mostly your kavkaz populations and foreign Transcaucasusian and Centarl Asian gastarbeiters which are successfully replacing you as the dominant ethnicity with their birth rate as I write this. And 50% of you pagans from RF live in Moscow, which beats London or Paris at total Muslim population and world cosmopolitanism, working in low-collar jobs in multinationals and you surely don't plan in settling the GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE limbo regions of the rest of the state, which in fact compromises the whole state from Kamchatka to Kaliningrad – and I wasn't even talking about the deserted rural areas, but about the sovok monoindustrial towns and cities. You would lose any chance of seeing your pagan metal bands live. A pagan NSBM band like Temnozor pursue their living and activity in the Babylon megalopolis known as Moscow. Most of your urban peasents died alongside Stalin's gulags as kulak counter-revolutionnaries or from the 1920's and 1930's famines, and the few true ones which did survive died along with the USSR. Even your gopniks don't have rural origins anymore – in fact they've been dying themselves thanks to cheap counterfeit Ossetian vodka fermented in sovok washing machines and drugs combined with foodborne illnesses from shahlik barbeques. The only true gopniks today are your kavkaztsi, the only essential difference is that they aren't white, albeit many of them seem to be the best patriots of Russia, like your gopniks (Kadyrov, anyone? He isn't even blackassed! He surely looks more “Aryan” than FSB agent Potkin/Belov!).

Obviously this applies to pagans from all European countries, alongside Canada, USA, Australia and New Zeeland. The only one which did have the balls to go feral was Vidar Vaeer from Ildjarn. A cool guy, indeed. Plus, his music and lifestyle is the opposite of yours. What I've said earlier applies to Scandinavian countries and their immigration policy, it applies to France, and heck – basically to all the “white” world, from USA and Canada to Russia. (this is generally more diminished in Poland, Ukraine, Romania, Hungary, Slovakia and Serbia, where there is still a substantial rural population which is more true to its roots albeit diminishing).

Where's the grisly sexual alibi which I've been bragging earlier: it's coming right now!

I started this journal after writing a post in the downright right-on-the-spot VIKING ARE GAY group. As you see, a very aptly nicknamed user which fits the hipster pagan humanoid type like a glove, with pseudoartistic types of expression (which includes the mandatory deviantart account) said FUCK THIS GROUP IN THE ASS WITH A MJOLNIR. This was copies by several more users (all female). I gave there my reply, which alongside this journal will outlast eternity, just like general Kim Il Sung's works on the Juche Idea. Looking into her profile, one sees that she is both a failure with men – by looking at one of her aptly named groups, and that she has “art” in which the heathen Christian Vikernes is portrayed in a rather erotic fashion. Hardly surprising, we know this from religious fanatics (particularly small christian sects like Jehova's witnesses) – or penticoastals or any other obscure XIX-XXth century protestant group. Just like these two girls - the refrain of the song is translated as:

“HOLD MY HAND (Jesus)/ Forge my heart/ Fill forever my jug/With your oil.”. Or look at these other examples – like this or this albeit you can easily find your own (that if you aren't one yourself) – just go to a Moonsorrow gig or got knows what cliché ridden folk metal band, search the web for bulletin boards, look at last.fm groups about “folk and viking metal” and their bands.

This, as I said, is applied to religious fanatics or religious posers, from odinists to Muslims and Christians. Generally the dominating figure is male, and the submissive one is female. And there are two categories here regarding these people which hide their sexuality in higher values – either virgins or nymphomaniacs. There's nothing in between. Generally the paternal nymphomaniacs are men (like a pastor, reverend or priest, or even a druid!), and women are the ones that have sex in the name of the given religion – Christianity, Hinduism, Odinism, Islam, Global Warming, Human Rights, Communism , National-Socialism, Anarchy, Straight-Edge etc. These women (and men) have an inferiority complex. They also want to get laid, but not in a normal fashion – but in the name of something for a higher, fake, self-esteem. This is why, as that “curse” - FUCK IT IN THE ASS WITH A MJOLNIR, you can see that they fantasize about phallic shaped Mjollnirs and Gungnirs , heavily masculine and erotic blondes/vikings/Thors/ or blue eyed blonde Valkyries. This is why Wahabbis want 72 virgins and blow themselves up for that dream. This is why japanophiles are generally a bunch of people which only appreciate “Japanese culture” made out of mangas, hentai or God knows what kind of degenerate crap they come up with.

Enough ranting about these cathegories – now it's turn to rant a little bit about Straight Edgers – another religious group, despite their claims.

Theoretically, I'm one myelf. I never got drunk (nor do I plan to) and I'm a vegan for about two months, and since I feel so good I don't plan on changing my lifestyle very soon. But 95% of you suck, since you try to impose these views on others. And let's face it, it's not universally appliable. You think it is because you're like me, a middle-class citadine bourgeoise which eats supermarket products in school/college/white collar jobs/corporate jobs . But what about construction workers? Miners? Industry workers? Third worlders (in fact, I hope they starve)? Eskimos? They're also eligible for your sectarian one-sighted thought? And regarding drugs – some people under their influence (I'm not curious about them) can do great works of art. In a totally random juxtaposition, Black Sabbath and Mircea Eliade. Generally, it's important in who's hands the given substance is. But I surely don't feel sorry for those stupid enough to die from alcohol or drug overdose. They merely clean the world, albeit in far too small numbers. Most of you also just want to get laid, under a “moral” and “paternal” thought of having a “good, healthy” life. Just like the above mentioned groups. xXx turns into XXX, eh?

All of you, unlike the following people, are not sincere. Now, listen to these two tracks.


I won't continue my ranting. Conclusion is final – you suck.

50 Cent
Snoop Dogg
Lil' Wayne
Nicolae Guţă
Fernando de la Caransebes
Copilu de Aur
Death in June
Lady Gaga
Michael Jackson
Joy Division
Babi Minune
Cradle of Filth
Anal Nosorog
Babi Minune
Marina Mustafaeva
Hate Forest
Cristi Dules
Blood of Kingu
Morbid Anal Fog
Сыны Севера
Kivimetsän Druidi
Kanye West
Lil' Scrappy
Bob Marley
Bad Brains
Dr. Dre
Amon Amarth
XIV Dark Centuries
Butterfly Temple
Natural Spirit
Cypress Hill
Notorious B.I.G.
Wu-Tang Clan
Sear Bliss
Tony Yayo
Los Fastidios
The Opressed
Mister X
Brigada Flores Magon
Minor Threat
At the Drive-In
Earth Crisis
Good Clean Fun
Casey Jones
Gorilla Biscuits
Have Heart
Youth of Today
Vitamin X
Project X
XXX Maniac
Hymen Holocaust
Dying Fetus
Cock and Ball Torture
Cannibal Corpse
Funeral Rape
Waco Jesus
2 Minuta Dreka
Cunt Grinder
Anal Penetration
Anal Whore


  • TerraSilvae1557

    I gotta agree with a little of that. The whole most people who claim to be pagan are not or they wouldn't make the claim bit Honestly assuming temporarily that one is pagan why would one call oneself such? Pagan is a christian term derived for making other religions seem lowly. Comes from Latin means something akin to not being able to afford a shirt why call yourself that? Although not to be unfriendly or nothing but you have a shit load of grammatical errors don't know if you just don't care or what. On the other hand why would it be that everyone wants to listen to viking metal to get laid? I like it cause I find the music awesome and it makes me feel "pumped" like i could open a mans skull with my finger tips. Nothing sexual or particularly wrong about that is there? Finally you are named for a man who in WW2 performed experiments that killed hundreds for little reason other than he could. Possibly an indicator into your own sexual issues? not my business but i bid you good day.

    27. Jul. 2010, 4:32
  • DrJosephMengele

    My native language isn't english, albeit I can't seem to find that many grammar errors, rather I generally mistype words, like missing a letter. This isn't some academic research (albeit it surely is better than many of them). This is merely a cliché you use in order to divert from the ideas expressed here. Secondly, I didn't say ANYONE who listens to it, I said most which jump into the viking metal trendwagon and proclaim themselfs to be odinists or hell know what, despite the fact that they can't relate to that at all. It's the hipster trend to which many adhere. Face it, none of you "heathens" were ever heathens until you found black metal. As far as Mengele is concerned, it's merely for pissing off people. Viking metal is politically correct - Herr Mengele isn't. I could have named myself GAY_VOMIT_SEX (like somebody else did), COMRADE DZUGASHVILI, Mr. KOBA, LAVRENTIY BERIA, DEAR LEADER KIM IL SUNG, TREBLINKA IS FREAKING COOL. POL POT - GREAT HUMANIST. The reaction would be the same. The matter of fact is that I don't cloak myself into any trend in order to diguise sexual deviations. Don't belive that it's the norm in real life? Go to a jehova's witnesses or a penticoastal gathering, go to some gig, go to modern art exhibitions - you'll see the exact same thing.

    27. Jul. 2010, 6:57
  • DrJosephMengele

    FataluZalmoxeThorOdinMithraDumnezeuTitanNeaCostică: : Ăsta e adevărul. Este interzis să scriu despre un grup din care să dau exemple? Ăsta e ad hominemul pe care îl dă oricine când nu are argumente şi se enervează. Şi în al doiea rând, dacă totul merge atât de prost şi tu ai iniţiativă - de ce te-ai strămutat în patria fjordurilor şi vikingilor?

    27. Jul. 2010, 7:08


    29. Jul. 2010, 10:26
  • Wonderglue

    Saying the word "Hipster" and putting them into any type of subculture is an Oxymoron,thus your journal is invalid. And frankly,i didn't make any,and i mean any sense at all. Vikings are interesting,Viking fanboys aren't and Viking Metal doesn't exist. My post is correct,your future post replying to mine isn't.

    2. Aug. 2010, 2:45
  • Giftsvamp

    Hoy-hoy :) a very nice article, except 1smallest thing :) /why-you-guys-take it-so-serious? :) The fact is, you're most "true" (no matter in which subculture: goth, emo, viking) when you're in thy 'teens and a pair of years later. Then it flows to some adequate shores. As my band, Svartby is linked, tied and bound with all these articles - have you read our lyrics? :) no, you just scrambled around viking-tagged bands. Cheap thing, indeed. Try to check out the material you're linking to, author. That's unprofessional style that pisses me off, not your (respected) position.

    3. Aug. 2010, 19:18
  • blackfintuna

    Nice article indeed. But as my predecessor noted, you linked them with bands whose lyrics aren't viking at all... For example, Borknagar, too. I don't know why so many bands are falsely tagged 'viking' anyway. It must have been done by the viking-fetishists ;)

    5. Aug. 2010, 17:10
  • DrJosephMengele

    Well, nowdays it basically ranges from "slavic fetishism" (the recent eastern-european NS " bands) mixed with viking fetishism (Swedish and Norwegian bands) and finnish bands and some bands like Primordial or Elluvite which are "celtic". It's all a hodge-podge, this only shows that these people are just jumping into this annoying cosmopolite trend indiscriminately.

    5. Aug. 2010, 21:53
  • N808a4

    Culturally, nothing exists but trends. There's no alternative; even the most creative and alien subcultures consist of amalgamations of bits of other trends and environmental data. But citadine is a great word. Thanks.

    6. Aug. 2010, 13:52
  • metalegghead

    You should podcast this on the blogosphere

    6. Aug. 2010, 18:03
  • LexiFSAS

    im scared to read this

    7. Aug. 2010, 10:39
  • Bora-02

    "tl;dr - hipsters are gay"?

    7. Aug. 2010, 19:20
  • SnowyReaper


    9. Aug. 2010, 22:17
  • DarkNog

    Maybe you should stop being a dick and let people get on with what they want to do? Honestly man, get a fucking life and stop whining about it.

    10. Aug. 2010, 23:23
  • NymphBasilica

    Meh, I just like the music, and I like men with long hair, I don't care about the 'gods' or anything. not really, at least, just nice stories, but the bible has nice stories too, and I'm not believing in that either. I'm not a believer. We should just be nice to each other, what's wrong with that?

    12. Aug. 2010, 22:15
  • florianblaschke

    A slightly amusing troll (the journal, not the person). Viking metal is politically correct? Non-metal fans don't seem to think so. Viking metal bands and the scene are constantly confronted with suspicions of neo-nazi sympathies, or a tendency to the far right in general. Especially the main churches in Germany and elsewhere don't seem to like this (subcultural, mind you, therefore rather limited) trend at all ...

    15. Aug. 2010, 0:52
  • DrJosephMengele

    I'm not reffering to passive listeners, I was talking about those run-of-a-mill internet pagans and those which take asatru and whatever paganoid thought seriously (I already made it clear). It seems that most of you have a very short attention span, if anything. It makes about the same sense as Scientology. It seems that most people disregard reading and have a @DarkNog: so why did you bother to reply if you have better things to do? @florianblaschke: oh come on, the moonsorrow-korpiklaani folk metal crowd has to be the most inane and downright stupid crowd you'll ever experience, and the most PC for that matter. It simply reflects their music.

    18. Aug. 2010, 6:44
  • GuardianPL

    no u

    18. Aug. 2010, 13:11
  • florianblaschke

    Whether or not they are really PC, they're simply not perceived as PC, but as borderline nazis by the mainstream, that's my point. By the way, it's Kristian Vikernes, not Christian. Readers would still have recognised the irony if you had spelled his name correctly.

    23. Aug. 2010, 1:56
  • TimOzcelik

    I typed out a two paragraph long response but I decided to delete all of it because it made little sense in retrospect. I'm not going to leave this page without disagreeing with you though, so... yeah.

    8. Sep. 2010, 13:48
  • henriquee_t88

    Sounds like some trolling taken waaaay too seriously.

    25. Sep. 2010, 0:11
  • Dead-shinobi

    Wow, you care so much. And there are too many "albeit" - my eyes are slightly aching. The time you spend on a fruitless thoughts you might have spent on something more beautiful. What's the benefit there for you? You'll have nothing good from it, your heart won't be filled with happiness and there won't be any spiritual satisfaction. It's not even fun.. =|

    26. Sep. 2010, 17:07
  • Poly-atimi

    +1 to Dirtynigress

    8. Okt. 2010, 19:42
  • mcc1200

    That journal is a right.

    4. Nov. 2010, 21:46
  • iammetisall

    Sounds like a very large chip on the shoulder and a tad jealous of western lifestyles. Oh well, maybe a good read of some social anthropological and psychology books might shed light on it for you. Thats if you can get them in North Korea? Also, look up the definition of "religion." It might surprise you that all religion's have some sort of deity worship involved and as such, I quote, "...., Global Warming, Human Rights, Communism , National-Socialism, Anarchy, Straight-Edge etc," are not religions.

    1. Feb. 2011, 14:38
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