That's All, Folks - The tiny, the tuney, and the little looney: A Review of AI5's…


25. Apr. 2006, 22:16

Okay, okay, okay. If I don't do this now, I'll probably be castrated later, so I might as well get it over with before I even start. I was wrong. There, I said it loud and clear so even Elliott could hear it. Ouch, that was pretty harsh...even for me. >.< Anywho, for those of you who are sitting there crying because you're still trying to grasp the concept on the rare chance BSE was not right, I can explain. Actually, I'll let myself do the explaining. You see, about seven days ago I made a prediction that I would be talking about in today's review (good thing I didn't watch The Ring though, eh?). To quote myself exactly, I said:

I can't say the same for the Top 7 theme, airing tonight. I'm calling a Country Week, Part II. I think it's going to be more boring than ever, if the rumor that they're not allowed to change the songs is true. So, I have a feeling that about 5/7 contestants will be extremely lackluster. I'm saying this now so next week I can be like "I told you so!" :P No, I'm just kidding, because I really do hope I'm wrong.

Well, 9 hours after watching that...not because Katharine's vocals were so beautiful or because Kellie...meh, I'll just save it for later. I was crying because for the first time since I got 39 questions wrong on my Biology exam...I was wrong. :'( And much like I'm sure all of you are doing right now, I cried more than Paris on a results show. Somehow, someway (soooooommmeeewheeeeerreee), I'll find the strength to muster up another review, just in time for a new week on 'Idol'!

So it's British Barry Manilow week over Idol and the kids are feelin' the pressure, especially since I predicted 5 out of 7 of them to fall on their faces. Well, at least I had the number right, because those 5 actually ended up doing quite well (despite my for-reasons-unknown disliking for Rod Stewart). Speaking of which though, his gold-digger wife is kinda hot! :D~ And he has a cute baby...way to go, Rod...we get use Viagra. But they're singing songs from The Great American Songbook this week. Other 'Idol' countries get Canadian Hits and Australian Made, we get....Big Band minus the swing. What's up with all the jazz-y themes this year, anyways? The next theme we'll probably see is Kenny G or somethin'. Anywho, time to kick off a new dawn, a new day, a new review, because...I'm feeling good. B-)

01. What A Wonderful World And at this point in time, millions of people flood to IDF to say "OMG!!!1 Spoilezr ar ewrong!" as Chris Daughtry gets what I like to call the unpimp spot and kicks off the show. Now some say he was being versatile when he chose Louis Armstrong's "What A Wonderful World" and others say it was just a simple, easy vocal. In defense of Chris' "toughness", I'm just gonna go on a limb and say he was trying to celebrate 4-20 two days early because we alllll know that song wasn't written sober/drug free. o:) And for those of you who didn't know that...Google is your friend. Not that I condone 4-20 or anything, I'm just sticking up for my buddy Chris. Anywho, it was good-ish, not my favorite Chris performance but after my 8th grade chorus did a kickass version of "What A Wonderful World" 5 years ago, everything seems inferior. And I gotta admit...Chris must be using subliminal messaging or something, because I seriously wanna buy one of those chains now. And it has NOTHING to do with the fact all the cool kids had them in middle school and I didn't. Nope, it was all Chris. :P
Grade: B

02. These Foolish Things When "the tiny" Paris Bennett said that she was changing styles every week, she wasn't kidding. For the past three weeks we've seen rodeo cowgirl, tattoo rock goddess, and now...businesswoman? I guess "These Foolish Things" remind us of Paris. Score 2 points for BSE for working in the song title. I actually quite enjoyed this performance from Paris. I thought it was kind of funny actually...did anyone else think the song was very Parisian? I don't know, I could just picture a Newlywed couple at a cafe with the Eiffel Tower in the back and Paris Bennett comes on and the couple starts to slow dance. Okay, maybe it was just me...or that new Danielle Steel novel. :D I think she got the mannerisms down the best and I really enjoyed it actually. For the past few weeks, I've really opened up to Paris and she's emerged as one of my overall favorites so yeah...I just felt the need to tell you. It has no relevance to anything I'm gonna say, it just makes the review look longer. B)
Grade: A

03. You Send Me Ignore the complete randomness to the next comment, but does anyone else think that Taylor Hicks has an oddly shaped head? It has been BUGGING me for like the past four weeks. His head looks like a balloon placed on top of a decapitated scarecrow, I swear. I will try and ignore it for the next few weeks, but I can't promise's just...there. Despite all of that, Taylor did pretty well with Sam Cooke's "You Send Me". Yup, the ending was vurry good and I think I speak for a lot of people that when he performs stuff like that at the end, that's his forte. And of course Paula gives him a standing ovation. I'm not saying at all he didn't deserve it, but we see Paula giving out standing ovations now more times than we see commercial breaks (anyone else think they're incredibly bad this year?). So yeah, the standing O really only means something if it comes from Randy now. Or Simon. Though if Simon gives one, you might as well end the competition now.
Grade: A-

04. It Had To Be You Yay! Now it's time for my favorite "song" of the night, coming from Elliott Yamin with "It Had To Be You". I'm going to be honest, and much like Katharine, I haven't a clue who originally sang the song so if one of you know for sure...if you could tell me, that'd be great! Once again, another enjoyable performance came out of Elliott, although I can't say I'm diggin' the newly trimmed goatee. I kind of think it looks like a Texas mustache, so if E came out with like a cowboy hat and boots, it'd be a little different, but yeah, it's been a weird facial hair year from Chris' sideburns to Gedeon's mustache so it's only another chapter in the book. Back to IHTBY would have been so much better without the "Santa Baby" back-up singers. I haven't been that distracted since the cell phone ring in Paris' "Work It Out" (Aaaaah! Memories!) Despite the minor flaw, I still liked it and still love the song. *Goes and puts it on his iPod and dances around the room, singing*
Grade: B

05. Bewitched, Bothered And Bewildered Okay, time to relax and gather yourself to write the review for "the little looney" Kellie Pickler with her attempt at "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered". Much like the movie Silent Hill, I tried to take it seriously, but I ended up laughing five seconds later. Worst movie ever, by the way. >.< So, I maybe my negative opinion is a cause here (or maybe it's because of you who said I was too nice to her Top 11) but I don't think in recent memory I've laughed at a performance (minus Daniel Kublbock). To be fair, I only laughed at the last two notes. I'm not a mean person I swear...I watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition! Well actually I don't, I watch backstabbing bloodthirsty reality shows like Survivor and The Apprentice (Cirie is my hero! <3) This potentially could have been a pretty performance (whereas Silent Hill was doomed from the start) was far from pretty, but I did like the disco lights! When all else fails, at least you have good lighting.
Grade: C-

06. That's All So whoever on the IdolOnFox website and thought it was funny not have the video of Ace Young isn't cool. Not because I'm a huge Highroller or anything, but I couldn't find the video anywhere. So for the first time, I'm judging solely off of an mp3. :o BUM BUM BUUUM!!! Well, I did see him perform "That's All" the first time, I just like to have the video to watch it here goes nothing. I must agree with Simon that it was a quite charming performance, especially since it was arguably his best vocal performance yet. Randy thought he should sing an entire song in falsetto, which he did..."Butterflies". And if I remember correctly, the struggled his way through that one, so yeah, Ace, if you're reading this, I even defended you for "We Will Rock You" so take my advice and not Randy's: your normal voice is better than your falsetto. So I guess...that's all.
Grade: B-

07. Someone To Watch Over Me Just like last week, I totally called that Katharine McPhee would get the pimp spot this week. Maybe I can go 3-for-3 and say Taylor's getting it this week. But of course, "Someone To Watch Over Me" is a great closer, and the message boards go in shock once again because she's not singing "The Way You Look Tonight". She did kind of cheat though to see which song Rod thought was best for her. :P Not that I care because she was fantastic tonight, with her first truly great vocal in a long time. No screeching this time around, then again, if there were, the whole song would be like ruined. I'm not certain, but I always assumed the song was about a girl singing to her father. Of course I'd love to be the answer to someone who asks Katharine "Who's your daddy?" but I know it ain't gonna happen. :'( Oh yeah, and KitKat, keep up the style...your on a three week streak, let's try and not to break it. You've almost made up for your Top 12 dress. Almost.
Grade: A

Top 3: Katharine, Paris, Taylor
Bottom 3: Ace, Chris, Kellie

Yes, I know most of you are still shocked I just put Chris in my bottom three. :P But hey, it's called yellow journalism...and being honest. It wasn't a bad performance, I just like 4/7 more. ^_^ with it. Plus it's the first time he's mad an appearance there so boo ya...cry me a river. I've put Kellie in there for like the past gazillion weeks so it's only fair. The real bottom three, of course consisted of Chris Daughtry, Ace Young, and Paris Bennett. Ace was gone. Shocker. 'Cept not. It's good that he went out on a good note's always better that way. :P Oh yeah, and I actually WATCHED the results show this week...and I can't remember much from it, except how I hat the whole group thing, especially top 7 night. What they should do, but never will is place 4 people in one group and 3 in the other and have there be a bottom FOUR! Now that'd be interesting. :P Oh yeah, speaking of producers, Nigel Lithgoe or however you spell it is like the worst actor ever. When Ryan says Rod Stewart should work with the AI6 kids for a 70's rock theme, Nigel gave this business-like nod, making us believe there's actually going to be one. We ALL know that the themes are planned out for next year already: 50s, 60s, 70s, 90s, 2000s, and Current Hits. Basically everything but 80s because Idol hates me. :)

No predictions for this week! Nope, it seems as though I've learned my lesson about saying whether a performance night is going to be good or not. However, I'm not too thrilled about having back-to-back themes of slow songs. :P I've literally kept an open mind about tonight's show so I really don't know what to expect, maybe I'll be surprised or disappointed. Either way, I can't wait for my Idol fix! So until next time,

That's all!

-BSE- case you're wondering: yes, I'm aware the phrases in the title are from two different TV shows. And yes, I'm aware that's it's toony and not tuney...that's the point. :P


  • breakxmyxheart7

    And he has a cute baby...way to go, Rod...we get use Viagra. Lmfao, that's great Andy. I <3 your reviews.

    26. Apr. 2006, 0:38
  • DaStarWalrus

    Hot review. I already read but will comment. I enjoyed this a lot.

    30. Apr. 2006, 7:11
Alle 2 Kommentare anzeigen
Sage etwas. Melde dich bei an oder registriere ein neues Benutzerkonto (es kostet nichts).