Original idea by fujikiri. Blame her.
Concept: Jewels are good. Shame is bad.
Jewels represent really talented but ultimately mortal singers. Being able to sing well does not elevate one to goddess status in my humble opinion. Shames represent poor singers. Really piss poor singers polluting the musical landscape.
Disclaimer: This is solely opinion.
JEWEL: Anneke van Giersbergen (The Gathering / Agua de Annique)
Anneke is the definitive metal/rock singer. When she initially entered the metal scene as that unknown female replacement and charmed us with her emotive vocals, there was no one quite like her. To this day, nearly 15 year after the release of Mandylion, the same can still be said.
I will briefly mention Silije. I don’t dislike her, she is certainly not a terrible singer, rather I find her too much of a ‘safe’ choice. I feel like I’m listening to a poor man’s Anneke as oppose to a different person.
SHAME: Lady Angellyca (Forever Slave)
This woman is a cancer on metal. She is simply vile. What other words can you use to describe a talentless leech whose only claim to fame is that she was being considered for the vacant Nightwish position? A rumour that she herself started. A rumour that no one else but Lady Angellyca actually saw even the remote element of truth.
And I have had the misfortune of hearing her sing live... I thought a cat was dying.
JEWEL: Şebnem Ferah
Sebnem is a woman of immerse vocal capabilities, her pipes are simply stunning. But what I really love about Sebo is that she is Turkish and performs solely in her native tongue. I’m aware that others might be put off with not being able to understand what she is singing, needless I don’t necessary think you need to know in order to appreciate Sebo’s splendour.
SHAME: Ipek (Wykked Wytch)
Listen to their cover of ‘Bring me to Life’...
Seriously whose idea was it to allow the ‘special needs’ kids to create a band? Should have given them crayons instead. Bless them, they can’t even spell.
JEWEL: Jonna Enckell (The Project Hate/Siren On)
Jonna is a marvellously versatile singer. She provides the angelic female vocals for the death metal/techno hybrid that is The Project Hate as well as having produced two solo albums. Siren On features a more delicate side, predominately piano and violin melodies with Jonna shinning as a sultry aloof siren.
SHAME: Ailyn (Sirenia)
Ailyn has always struck me more as pin-up girl then actual vocalist. And can you blame me? Ailyn has only one facial expression that practically screams ‘come hither’. I honestly did not think Sirenia could do worse than Monika. I was indisputably wrong. Surely Ailyn will prove to be the final nail in Sirenia’s untimely coffin.
JEWEL: Anette Olzon (Nightwish)
Anette Olzon and Tarja Turunen are two separate and different people. Fortunately Anette decided to bring her own shoes and follow her own path. While she might not possess the vocal range of her predecessor, Anette has other attributes that Tarja does not. In all, Anette is a genuinely charismatic singer, and can be far more appealing on certain Once tracks.
SHAME: Lacey Mosely (Flyleaf)
Genuinely I find her annoying, tedious and oozing with whine, whine and oh, yet more whine!
POLISH JEWELS:
Anja Orthodox (Closterkeller)
Closterkeller have been around for donkey’s years and they have inspired many younger bands on the polish metal scene. Anja in particular has radiated much admiration for her crushing power and prowess.
Anna Panasz (Naamah)
Naamah have disappeared of the face of the earth. This is a tragedy! Resensement was a modern classic. Anna was a true gem, captivating with her youthful eloquence. I sincerely hope this is not the end for Naamah.
Paula Maslanka (Delight)
Breaking Ground might have been primarily a miss album, but Paula continues to remain one of my keen favourites. Her minimalism approach was such a refreshment. It’s too bad this band have also disappeared into the abyss alongside Naamah.
JEWEL: Jex Thoth (Jex Thoth / Totem)
I’ve recently fallen under the spell of Jex Thoth. I don’t want to be released.
SHAME: Raiana (KHz
Raiana spends far too much time preening herself and whispering “push it” to actually realise she isn’t that good of a singer. Or that attractive.
JEWEL: Michelle Noon (Serpentcult)
Serpentcult play traditional doom, complete with clean vocals and grows both provided by Michelle Noon. Perhaps what is unique to Michelle is that she can do both vocal types well. Certain about-to-be shamed vocalists could learn a trick or two...
SHAME: Maria Brink (In this Moment)
Hey look everybody, its Mai-scank-entine (there will be cookies awarded to anyone who gets this reference). Has she appeared in playboy yet? Seriously wouldn’t surprise me. Just keep flaunting that thigh luv it’ll distracted your fans from realising that you don’t actually have any talent.
JEWEL: Dawn Crosby (Détente)
The legend that is. RIP Dawn.
SHAME: Alissa White-Gluz (The Agonist)
Her arrogance is mind boggling. Alissa went on Pop Idol and made stupid comments on whether she could teach her competitors a thing or two about metal. Since The Agonist aren’t that great themselves and Alissa’s screams are not that impressive, perhaps she could kindly remove her head from her arse.
JEWEL: Joan Jett (Joan Jett & the Blackhearts/ The Runaways)
The thing I like most about Joan is that she isn’t that great of a vocalist. A lot of the time Joan is plain screaming down the mike. But it’s those imperfections that have distinguished Joan as such a classic rock singer. She is a living legend.
SHAME: Katra (Katra)
Katra is terrible. It’s not her fault really. She saw a bandwagon and hopped on it without much thought. Too bad she is only a mediocre singer at best.
FINAL JEWELS (Just pictures now)
Johanna DePierre (Amaran)
Marianne Lia (Bergtatt)
Ozge Ozkan (Catafalque)
Natalie Koskinen (Depressed Mode / Shape of Despair)
Lisa Johansson (Draconian)
Beatriz Albert (Ebony Ark)
Gunnhild Sundli (Gåte)
Marianna Holmberg (Left Hand Solution)
FINAL SHAMES
Lady Godyva (Godyva)
Elina Iron (Ironica)
Sonya Scarlet (Theatre des Vampires )
Lisa (Xandria)
The GatheringForever SlaveŞebnem FerahWykked WytchJonna EnckellSireniaAnette OlzonNightwishFlyleafClosterkellerNaamahDelightJex ThothKHZSerpentcultIn This MomentDetenteThe AgonistJoan Jett and the BlackheartsKatraAmaranBergtattCatafalqueDepressed ModeShape of DespairDraconianEbony ArkLeft Hand SolutionGODYVATheatre Des VampiresiRonicaXandria
Şebnem Ferah
